My design is inspired by what has made me who I am today. The diamond shape represents a transcendent image of protection inspired by this song that I have been listening to for years, called “Ice Cube” by Juno Reactor. When I listen to that song, I picture myself floating up and up into the air, at the center of the titular cube of ice. In my head, the cube has become a diamond, and as the song builds and builds, I imagine the ice forming all around you. 

When the beat drops, and they call out, “The ice cube crumbles,” this feeling of pure ecstasy overwhelms me and my imagination - my diamond shatters. This image of floating up in the air, ecstatic and in trance, has been the rhythm of my imagination, and a new song I hope to share, visually, with the world. 

Also, I love magic. Embracing nature. The calling of the four corners. The ancient Celtic history and practices - the idea of being more in touch with the Earth than we are today. 

So, I drew a diamond. And put a cross in it. Because I’m religious. 

Just kidding, but the cross does represent the influence religion had on me growing up, and, as you can imagine, being a gay man from the south made that influence, uh, dynamic.

I grew up Catholic. I was an altar boy. I didn’t like going to church, but when I had to go, I would imagine these beautiful, majestic angels flying around - with their gigantic wings, circling up in those high-domed ceilings. 

And I would see demons - grotesque, ugly things, but in their own way a little precious - coming up from the ground. It was always the ground, because that’s where we stood. Where we stand. I used to imagine all those silent statues of saints coming to life, just to speak and show the pain that they went through because of their world. Because of this world. 

I remember, when I was an altar boy, I had the job of lighting all the many candles in the chapel with this crazy staff. It was ridiculous in retrospect, but one day I got behind the altar, before service started, and made pretend that I was a mystical sorcerer, wielding this magical, luminescent staff amidst my old books and melting wax. 

I raised the staff up high, and shouted, “BOW BEFORE ME!” I felt powerful. I was having fun with the fantasy of it all. Everything else in religion made me feel like I was some monster, an intrinsically horrible person in God’s eyes that had already forfeited my soul just because of what society thought I should be. But the fantasy was fun.

I do not like organized religions. I think God laughs at all the rules we have made. I think he just wants us to be good people, and good to each other. 

So, I put a cross.

The last line is a little bit because I think it looks nice, and I like how the line goes up and intersects the cross. It’s also how I write my “G” when I sign my name. To me, I think it reminds me to try to do Good. To be a Good person. To look inwards, at the universe, to God or whatever. The little bridge reminds me to call out for Guidance. 

That’s all. The sketch took me awhile, but I felt like I could feel my soul in every stroke. Felt like I could find peace, and see how I perceive myself with every frayed line. Every emotion you could possibly imagine was experienced.

Love being the most trivial.

My experience with Love doesn’t go away because my soul will always be looking for it even when it hurts. It’s the strongest force in the universe and I ask it to give me a warm embrace, a safe place to call home. Surround me with blue embers of light as I float through the air feeling love and peace.

Grif Murray